* this isn't just any day it's SPEED DAY
* don't try any tricks. I'm an experienced fool
* that will be $13, mondo
* the platter is never platypi
* i say Bergering in a Spirgitual Way
* sweet fancy moses!!!
* i'm sorry, but i can't let you live
* 20 years ago the world ended. There were no survivors... except ME!!!
* can i call you "betty"? cause you are a real "butthead"
* Throw me to the Wolves and I will return a Father
* look i'm over 27 and im no longer pretending to be a rocket scientist
* domo arigato, skater Bo Jangles
* my cup runneth over
* snakes have no right to live. We should all kill them,
* i like my women/senior citizens like i like my rice: 50/50 long/short grain
* you messed up da plan
* I'd like to buy an E
* i was run over by a streetcar named "Destiny", but i got up and kicked its ass!!!
* give light, and the darkness will disappear of itself
* no one gets out alive so might as well get a free slice
* why you bent so sideways?
* what i need is a cup of joe, BUT not yet... i haven't had my crack yet.
* you got to be slippin son!
* i'm The Doctor, not some bitch doctor
* when life hands you lemons, I like to say "plombard me with a tire iron"
* in order to stop a world-class terror plot, one must become a world-class "Dog".
* i'm so pissed off, you could put out a crop-duster fire with my pee
* "You fail me once, I shall be lenient. You fail me twice, I suggest one of you warlocks take him for a ride in the stick'em up go cart."
* if you grew a Handlebar Mustache and rode a horse, you would be me
* I'm a veteran of those terrible alternate realities
* be careful; this chariot ain't got no muffler.
* believe in anarchy for you are one for the many
* we really love it when you say grapefruity
* call me an ambulance? call me a vegetarian? call me the doctor!
* We should Crack down on all the non-Crackheads because they got no Crack!
* one day, someone will say "bing flash" and the rest of us will just have to sit with our thumbs up our butt
* not all wizards carry a wand. sometimes they go under the knife to have their manhood surgically removed
* i have a fish in my pocket... i feed him peanut butter
* you mortals represent faltered notions and sticky flypaper to me!
* "i'm unbelievably stupid" is the perfect alibi for being incredibly stupid
* "fuck you! You're not yeti!" "You got me", said the Yeti.
* i requested a side of fries WITH my cheeseburger. You forgot my cheeseburger too. AND you put too much milk in my coffee. NOW SEE WHAT YOU DID?! Now I have no cheeseburger and there's too much milk in my coffee. I know you're looking at me funny right now. So can you go about correcting all these MISHAPS?!?! Or if there is a problem YOU should not hesitate in telling me so. You can't turn my order around in a hot second without seemingly absentmindedly producing an object that will be detrimental to my health? And plus, YOU forgot my cheeseburger!!
* im's the sauce and the saucer you fuck fortune cookie